Self Satisfaction: a woman's path to sexual revolution

Casual sex was a lie sold to women packaged as a path to sexual revolution. For so long women have had to advocate for themselves when it comes to bodily autonomy. In every way possible our freedom to just be has been stripped away and distorted. This has forced women  into battle not only with society but with themselves. For women living in a patriarchal society, every waking day is a battle. We’re too small, too big, too loud, too proud, too “wifey, but not for right now.” And yet all of that stems from sources outside of ourselves and out of our control. At the core of what we want is exactly that: the power to control that we are surrounded by a safe environment that protects us and doesn’t leave us out to dry. To be a woman is to be a liability, and the one thing that we do have control over is our pleasure. It's our God given right to feel good. 

"sexo virtual" 5x7 pen on paper -2023

What we’re not talking about enough is the whole journey to the center of the self to figure it out. Women are cerebral creatures. Our minds must be stimulated in order for the rest of our bodies to be. So even if that looks like casual sex our connections should be able to do at the minimum that: connect. Precursor:I can only speak on what I know personally and that's heteronormative and monogamous relationships [boo… tomato tomato tomato, very boring! I’m sorry]. Men aren’t getting it. We want to be explored, not exploited. Carressed not creamed pied. Rubbed on, not rabbitted. So I'm here to say that the real sexual revolution is not coming from that cutie you met the other night at the art gallery, but from the deepest, truest, most intimate depths of yourself. 

Let’s be real, the culture of sex in America is still very hostile and violent. This is not a man bashing blog, or saying that all straight men act or behave in this way; but I believe that even those guys would admit they couldn’t say the same thing for all of their male peers. Men weren’t taught to respect and see women as their equal, so why would they respect and see women as their equal? They were taught to view their relationship to us as an ego trip, a possession- a prize. And although it’s great to be prized, we are asking to be seen as a human, with a whole spectrum of feelings and emotions. 

Casual sex in theory is great- who doesn’t love sex? Getting to explore that with the wide variety of people on this earth is sexy and enticing. But what it’s missing is what we're all missing, intimacy, and that doesn’t always correlate with having sex. True intimacy in its purest form is a feeling of satisfaction and safety at the soul level. Sure, there are a lot of things in this world that distract us from being connected to ourselves deeply, but who knows you or your body better than you? It’s weird because when you grow up as a woman you get these very two confusing and contrasting stark reactions from the greater world: that your body is the most important thing about you and that being confident in your own skin or growing into your own, is a selfish act. When you strip away the noise, you quickly learn that it doesn’t matter what you do- there will always be critics, it’s up to you to forget all that and live for yourself. Your body is a temple but it’s also a weapon and woman, you wouldn't have been graced with the nerve cells to experience the greatest feeling in the world if you weren't supposed to. 

Whether you choose to touch on yourself with yourself or with the use of toys, to do so is the most revolutionary thing you can do. You’re not waiting on someone else to save you and do it for you, or hoping that he’ll be a decent enough guy to make you cum before he rolls over. Instead you’re taking over the reigns and controlling your ability to orgasm for you. Your body isn’t for the possession of another, it’s for the full exploration of you- or you wouldn’t have come to Earth in this giant meat suit. Making yourself cum and learning what you like, where you like it and how you like it, puts you in control. Your autonomy of your body is in your hands and how special and bad ass is that? Sexual revolution for women is the ability to satisfy ourselves.

xoxo,

-M